Damien's list
by Gemina
Summary: Damien is the troublemaker at the X-men academy. It actually kind of tells a story...sort of. No pairings!


**Damien is a student at the X-men academy. ( In my mind only, of course)**

**He is a shapeshifter. And a midget. He can use his shapeshifting to form others new limbs. **

**I don't own the X-men!**

**But I do own Damien, and Violet. And Brenda. And Milo. Yeah, I think that's it...**

No matter how good of an australian Accent I can do, I will NOT imitate Steve Irwin during Science class.  
If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a mustache on their face.  
I will not refer to the Vale twins as "bookends.  
I will Not claim a sick day because " I have become a sloth.  
Nor a tribble.  
Nick does not need a flea collar, and I should not insinuate he does.  
Asking "How do you keep a girl in suspense?" and then walking away is only funny the first time.  
42 is NOT the answer to everything.  
I will not refer to Brenda, Violet, and Static shock as Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom.  
I will NOT lock Kevin and Josh in the same room and take bets on who will come out alive.  
I will not dump Lemon juice on Victor just to see if he will become visible if he stands near the fire.  
I will not yell "Believe it...or not!!" after everyone of Emma's speechs.  
My name is not Princess Anastasia, and I should NOT sign any papers as such.  
I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock song during Math class.  
I will not call Dr. McCoy "McGoogles.  
I will not dress up as Magneto for halloween.  
I will not reenact famous battles scenes from the revolutionary war in the hallway. I will not declare an official " Hug the Psycho Day.  
I will not stab people when they hug me.  
I will not use war cries to signify my entrance into the classroom.  
Nor will I yell "Bamf!" everytime I enter a classroom.  
I will not sing my own personal spy music when I am sneaking through the hallways.  
I will not sing "Attack of the killer Tomatoes" everytime I use Ketchup.  
I will not paint anyone blue.  
Even if they already are blue.  
I will not organize an academy X fight club.  
I will not start food fights in the cafeteria.  
Or anywhere else.  
I will not scare the younger students with my algebra book.  
"Conquering the earth with flying monkeys" is NOT a good response to "What are you doing, young man"  
I do not have a flying carpet, nor shall I ever have one, and I should not promise people rides on it in return for money.  
Cyclops is NOT Santa Claus during the Holidays.  
Nor any other day of the year.  
I will not destroy the spoons.  
If it makes me giggle for more than ten seconds, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it.  
Stealing Static's underwear and selling it on ebay is not ethical nor allowed.  
An "I hate Emma Frost Club" is not a valid after school activity.  
I will not refer to Mercury as "That redheaded twit.  
I am not allowed to scream "APOCALYPSE!!" in the hallway. It is not funny.  
I am not allowed to write "Milo was here" on multiple library books, thereby banning him from the library.  
I will not shapeshift to look like someone else and make impassioned pleas to my enemies to be my boyfriend/girlfriend.  
Or my friends.  
Violet is not #27932.  
Shaving Nick is not a public service.  
Nor is it funny.  
I am not allowed to address Emma Frost With "Heil White Queen!" and accompanying salute.  
I will not tell new students about the time the beast ate my friend. I will not lie.  
I will not dye any of Miss Frost's clothes.  
Even if technically, I didn't do anything because color is an illusion.  
I will not add to my list without permission I will not add to my list without permission from the proper authorities.  
I will not yell "furball!" every time Nick coughs.  
Yelling "cheese!" during a briefing and grinning broadly is not appropiate.  
I will not tie Violet's hair to the bedpost.  
Nor anyone else's.  
TPing the entire school is not funny.  
I will not feign being attacked just to " see the looks on your faces"  
I will not party late at night.  
Nor any other time it has not been appointed by the proper authorities.  
I will not grease the floor.  
Or make it slippery in any other way.  
I will not put thumbtacks on my teacher's chair.  
I will not take my friend's paper and turn it in as my own.  
That applies to enemy's papers too.  
Unless it's Magneto's.  
Pouring water on Warren just to hear him sizzle is not funny.  
The same applies to Violet.  
And Ben.  
Or any other Pyrokinetic.  
Unless they are an enemy. And they're attacking.  
Growing warts on people's new limbs is not funny, nor allowed.  
I will not purposefully anatagonize blind students.  
No matter how hard they hit me with their cane.


End file.
